Creating Safe Spaces at Home: Practical Tips for Parents of Transgender Teens

Rights for transgender, lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals are increasingly under threat, and transgender youth are especially at risk. Even as new policies attempt to undermine their dignity, identity, and opportunities, there are ways to make a difference. If you’re a parent or caring adult of transgender teens, you have the power to protect and support them.

Simple actions can have a big impact

Remember those displays of personalized keychains, license plates, or street signs found in many gift shops? While seemingly simple, a small item bearing your child’s chosen name can carry a powerful message. Imagine giving them a bookmark to use in their favorite book; it’s a tangible way to show them that you truly see and respect their identity.

You can further affirm their identity by providing household items that align with their gender. For younger children, this might mean bedsheets and blankets with designs typically associated with their gender, or age-appropriate toys and toiletries such as toothbrushes and hairbrushes. For older children, consider offering gender-affirming clothing items, accessories, or personal care products that match their preferences. These everyday items can serve as constant reminders that their identity is acknowledged and celebrated. The key is to choose items that are both practical and meaningful, allowing your child to express themselves authentically in their daily life.

Every transgender person has different preferences

Recognizing that each transgender person’s journey is unique, encourage your child’s exploration of their identity. You can best support them by respecting their chosen name and pronouns, understanding that these might change over time.

Don’t provide false hope for transgender teens

It’s important to be realistic with transgender teens and avoid giving false hope. While medical transitions or legal gender marker changes may have limitations, you can still provide invaluable support by creating a safe space for them to share their fears or emotions, which can make a huge difference.

Creating a safe space means building a judgment-free zone where your teen feels comfortable expressing their hopes and concerns and navigating their identity. You can also support them by connecting them with LGBTQ+ youth support groups or an affirming therapist who specializes in gender identity.

Make time for your own mental health

While your child’s wellbeing is paramount, neglecting your own mental health is counterproductive. Consider seeking therapy to manage your stress, especially depending on your specific circumstances. Equally important is consistent self-care. Prioritize activities like connecting with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying moments of solitude.

It is completely normal to feel sad, confused, worried, or angry regarding your child’s journey and the challenges beyond your control. Allow yourself to acknowledge and process these emotions in a healthy way. This self-care is essential for effectively supporting your child.

Talk to other parents and caregivers of transgender teens

Seeking support from other parents and caregivers of transgender teens can be incredibly hopeful and empowering. Organizations like PFLAG (Parents & Families of Lesbians and Gays) offer valuable opportunities to connect with others, through local and virtual gatherings, as well as providing advocacy information and resources for the LGBTQ+ community and their caregivers. Explore their page here.

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Author

Cameron Bartlett is a volunteer blog copywriter for Families for Depression Awareness, a psychology major undergrad student at UMass Lowell, and works in direct care with patients in a behavioral health unit. Cameron first became fascinated with abnormal psychology and is now expanding into cognitive psychology, assisting a professor at UML in a research lab. In his free time, Cameron listens to music of all kinds, walks dogs, and spends lots of time with his family and friends.

Copy Editor

Johnny Kenton, PhD, is a biomedical neuroscientist and volunteer editor for Families for Depression Awareness. With a passion for clear, impactful writing, he founded Symbiotic Editing in 2024, specializing in academic editing. When he’s not refining manuscripts, Johnny enjoys exercising and spending time with his wife, their one-year-old son, and their dogs.