Missy
What are your
symptoms?
When I am not doing well, I feel irritable, overeat, lack
concentration, and have a sense of hopelessness and anxiety. When
I'm depressed, I feel tired and at my worst, I can't get out of
bed. In a manic state, I have racing thoughts and I am delusional and
paranoid.
Were you resistant to
taking medication?
From the time I was ten years old, until I had Katherine, the
therapists I saw recommended that I take medication, but I always
resisted. I felt like I would be giving in, I didn't need
medication, and I could do it on my own. I always thought things were
bad, but I'd be ok. I thought I'd get over it. Now I realize
that this is a chronic biological condition that I have to manage and
requires medication.
What are the greatest
challenges?
If I have a day where I'm not feeling great, I never know if
it's the beginning of a slide. It's hard to gauge what is a
normal fluctuation in mood. I get scared that I'm going to tank.
Bill is great about reminding me that it's just a bad day. No
matter how many times I go into a depression, there is an element of
disordered thinking. I think, this time it's not going to end. I
have this image of being alone in a forest, but I try to keep in mind
that there are friends waiting for me at the edge. Eventually I'll
find my way out again.
What is helpful for Bill to
do?
He just needs to be there for me. I know he finds this hard to
believe, because he doesn't think it helps, but it does.
