Missy
How were you diagnosed with
bipolar disorder?
I'd been to therapists, on and off, since I was ten years old,
but I wasn't diagnosed or taking medication. About nine years ago,
I was caring for our daughter Katherine, who was about 18 months old. I
wasn't feeling great, but I was functioning. I just felt like I was
constantly encased in a black shroud. I realized that this was the only
chance that I had to care for Katherine and enjoy her while she was
little. Depression runs in my family, and both my sisters are on
medication. My sisters really encouraged me to take medication.
So, I went a psychiatrist that I had seen a few times and she put me on
an antidepressant. At first I felt great, but gradually I slipped into
a manic episode. I had very high energy and stopped sleeping. I went
from eight hours of sleep a night down to three hours of sleep. I
wasn't even tired. My thoughts were racing, and I was going a
million miles an hour. One night, I didn't sleep at all and reached
a crisis. I felt like if I continued this way, then the only logic next
step was suicide, because my life was intolerable. I sat up all night
and waited until Bill could take me to the hospital.
After ten days in the hospital, they discharged me and referred me to a
psychiatrist who I have been working with for nine years. At first I
felt better, but over the next four years, I became much more
depressed. Mood swings were so much a part of my life that I just
resigned myself to being depressed.
Then, about three years ago, my psychiatrist started discussing
irritable depression and how my moods are really unstable and shift
quickly. He changed my diagnosis to atypical bipolar disorder and
prescribed a new medication.
As time went on, Bill and I struggled with whether or not we should
have a second child. A few years ago, we decided to go ahead. I wanted
to go off my medication, even though my doctor strongly recommended
against it. I didn't want to risk damage to the fetus and wanted to
breast-feed. It was a terrible decision, because in the first trimester
I went into the worst depression I've ever had. So, I went back on
medication, and by the end of my pregnancy, I started to feel good.
I've been doing well ever since.
What has made the
difference?
The turning point was when my therapist changed my diagnosis to
bipolar disorder and prescribed a mood stabilizer with an antipsychotic
medication. The combination of the new medications, along with the
joint counseling for Bill and I, plus support from our church and
family, is what works.
