Gene
How did you discover that you had depression?
I can remember as far back as kindergarten that I had
difficulties. I couldn't stand to be away from my mother. If I had
to go somewhere, I would get very depressed and feel hopeless that I
had to do something different. From the third to the seventh grade, I
had serious panic attacks. I would cry and curl up in a corner and say
I was sick. I said I had a stomachache and had to go home. But my
mother was very strict and she would say that there was nothing wrong
with me and I had to go back to school. It compounded my depression.
In my teenage years I still had problems, especially with girlfriends.
I became too possessive and insecure in relationships. I went to a
therapist who brought up the fact that there seemed to be depression in
my family. I continued to have low esteem, and overall felt this doom
and gloom about the world. I went through dark stages of despair. I
partied and drank until my late twenties, when I got married. I finally
got caught drunk driving. I went to the alcohol treatment program,
learned about what alcohol does to you, and stopped getting drunk.
At age 35, I hit another low point in my life. My wife and I were going
through infertility problems. I went to a primary care physician for a
physical and told him how bad I felt. My doctor wrote an antidepressant
prescription, but I had a real bad reaction to it. I started crying a
lot. The doctor was confused by my adverse reaction and referred me to
a psychiatrist, who I've been seeing for ten years.
