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Helping Someone Receive Treatment
Families and friends often are unsure how to convince their loved ones
to see a medical professional. In a compassionate way, explain to the
person that you are concerned that he or she is showing symptoms of
depression, a treatable medical condition. Often, people with
depression feel very relieved to learn that they are suffering from a
medical condition. Ask the person to see a medical professional, offer
to make an appointment, and go with the person or call the doctor in
advance to state the person's symptoms.
Helpful tips
What not to do
When your help is refused
Helping children and teens
Helpful tips
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Show you care. Depressed people feel isolated in their pain
and hopelessness. Tell your depressed family member or friend how
much you and others care about the person, want the person to feel
well, and are willing to help. Listen and sympathize with the
person's pain.
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Acknowlege the relationship impact. In a caring way, let the
person know that depression affects you and others in the family.
Your relationship, including intimacy, household responsibilities,
and finances, are all adversely affected when someone is depressed.
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Be informed. Read a brochure,
Family Profiles (see www.familyaware.org), or a book, or watch a video on depression and share
the information with the depressed person. Stress that depression is
a treatable, medical condition, like diabetes or heart disease, not a
sign of weakness. Assure the person that people with depression do
feel better with treatment.
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Use a symptom list. Go through the depression symptom list with the person who is depressed
or have the person take a confidential evaluation that will guide him
or her toward medical help. Take the symptom list to the appointment
for discussion with the medical professional.
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Reach out. Find other people to help you get your loved one
into treatment, especially medical and
mental health professionals such as your primary care physician
or a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker. Think of others to
whom the depressed person will listen, such as family members,
relatives, teachers, friends, or a member of the clergy, then enlist
their help.
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Seek immediate help If at any time your depressed family
member or friend talks about death or suicide or may be harmful to
you or others, seek immediate help. Contact your doctor, go to your
local emergency room, or call 1-800-suicide or 911.
What not to do
People with depression are suffering from a medical condition, not a
weakness of character. It is important to recognize their limitations.
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Do not dismiss their feelings by saying things like "snap out of
it" or "pull yourself together."
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Do not force someone who is depressed to socialize or take on too
many activities that can result in failure and increased feelings of
worthlessness.
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Do not agree with negative views. Negative thoughts are a symptom of
depression. You need to continue to present a realistic picture by
expressing hope that the situation will get better.
When your help is refused
Often when you try to help someone who is depressed, your help is
declined or nothing you do seems to help. You end up feeling rejected
and discouraged that there is nothing more you can do.
Depressed people may reject your help because they feel they should be
able to help themselves, and feel worthless when they can't.
Instead, they may withdraw or start an argument in an effort to resolve
their difficulties. In addition, people with depression have negative
thoughts and feel so hopeless that they do not see recovery as a
reality.
Fifty percent of people with bipolar disorder have a lack of insight,
so they do not realize they are ill. For example, people with bipolar
disorder may believe they are a "high-energy person." This
makes family involvement in seeking and managing treatment even more
critical.
With these difficulties in mind, what can you do if your help is turned
away?
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Provide consistent support. Over time, if you consistently
show support, the depressed person will see that you are resolute and
may accept your help. Continue trying some of the tips discussed in
this section.
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Discuss your feelings. When your help is refused, restate how
much you care for the person. Let the depressed person know how you
feel, gently, by stating an example of the support you have offered
and how it makes you feel when it is rejected.
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Focus on behaviors. If the depressed person is reluctant to
seek help, then don't try to convince the person that depression
is causing the problems. Instead, talk about the depressed
person's behaviors and the ways in which treatment can help. For
example, after you have listened and sympathized with the depressed
person's feelings, try to agree on wellness goals (e.g.,
consistent sleep and feeling less irritable). Then, try to assign
some action steps that you can agree on to reach these goals (e.g.,
after two weeks, if the person does not improve, you will set up a
medical evaluation).
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Agree on professional help. It is important to make sure your
loved one gets the professional help he or she needs. Sometimes a
primary care physician can seem less threatening, or a
psychotherapist, or a couple's therapist.
Helping someone who is depressed and reluctant to seek treatment can be
very trying and frustrating. As much as possible, try to enlist the aid
of family members, friends, and medical professionals in this process.
Helping children and teens
Each year, 3 to 6 million Americans under the age of 18 suffer from
depression. Although the symptoms of depression are the same as those
for adults, children and teens may not be able to express their
feelings as well or may exhibit different emotions. Look for signs of
declining school performance (e.g., poor grades), frequent temper
tantrums, outbursts of crying, or unexplained irritability.
Your child must receive treatment for depression. Children need to
learn how to continue to develop and find ways to cope. In addition,
teens suffering from depression are at risk for committing suicide, the
third leading cause of death among 15 to 24 year olds.
Treatment of depression for children and teens includes psychotherapy
and medication. Psychotherapy helps children and teens learn how to
express their feelings and gain critical communication skills. The use
of medication is an emerging field in child psychiatry, and medications
have been approved for children in certain age groups.
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